


An Exciting Adventure In Ponyland

by nostalgia



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crack, F/M, my little pony - Freeform, sorry about this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-25
Updated: 2014-04-25
Packaged: 2018-01-20 17:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1519511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nostalgia/pseuds/nostalgia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Doctor," cried Amy, "we've been turned into My Little Ponies!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Exciting Adventure in Ponyland

"Doctor," cried Amy, "we've been turned into My Little Ponies!"

"Yes," he agreed. 

"This doesn't make any sense! How could it have happened?"

"It's probably just a dream," said the Doctor, calmly.

"Who the hell dreams about being a My Little Pony?"

"Don't swear in Ponyland," he admonished. "I think it's a perfectly good dream. We have a nice meadow, a pink plastic stable, things to jump over, and we have good hair."

"I'm kind of disturbed by how much your My Little Pony face looks like your normal face."

"If we didn't look a bit like ourselves that would be silly, wouldn't it?"

"My one's just pale and ginger," she said a bit sadly. "Hey, what's the wee picture on my side?" She tried to look but pony bodies weren't that flexible.

"It's a duck," the Doctor told her. 

"A duck? Why do I have a duck?"

"Because you're a Pond, obviously. What have I got?"

Amy looked. "A TARDIS."

"Ooh, nice."

She glanced around the meadow. "Where's Rory?"

"He's not in this dream."

"Why not?"

The Dotor tossed his head a bit which somehow conveyed the same meaning as a shrug. "I tend to leave him out of my dreams. He just gets in the way."

"Wait, is this a sexual dream? This had better not be a sexual dream, Doctor," she warned him.

"Amy, we're not anatomically-correct."

"Oh. Well, what if I need to pee or something?"

The Doctor rolled his huge anime-style eyes. "You don't have a bladder. You can eat and drink, but it just sort of vanishes in the middle somehow."

"You have this dream a lot, do you?"

"Sometimes." He swished his tail lazily. "It's rather pleasant."

Amy frowned as well as she could with no eyebrows. "Why am I in your dream?"

"I don't know. I didn't even invite you. It's quite rude of you, really." 

"It's not like I did it on purpose!"

"Hmm."

"Doctor, if I was going to turn up in your dreams deliberately, I certainly wouldn't pick one where we weren't anatomically-correct. Or one where we were ponies," she added, in case he thought she was weird.

"You'd probably just nitpick it to pieces." He ducked his head a bit. "Not that I have those sorts of dreams, because I don't and even if I did you wouldn't be in them."

"You're not very good at lying when you're a horse," said Amy.

"It's about the only downside to being a My Little Pony."

Amy saw an opportunity in all this wholesome goodness. "Hey, if you can't lie, this could be pretty good."

"I don't like the sound of that."

"Have you or have you not thought about shagging me?"

"Well," said the Doctor -

 

Amy woke up in the library. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Bloody hell, that was weird."

The Doctor looked up from his book. "What was weird?"

"I... did you have My Little Ponies when you were a kid?"

"On Gallifrey?"

"Okay, stupid question." She stood up. Having only two legs felt a bit strange. "Must have been something I ate."

The Doctor stared at her for a bit and then turned his attention back to the book he was reading. 

Amy headed to the kitchen to eat as much cheese as she could find. She didn't usually like nightmares, but anything was better than Ponyland.


	2. Ponyland: The Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which our heroes find themselves in the land of My Little Pony. Again.

Rory was in a meadow. It was slightly-artificial looking but... nice. Yes, nice was the right adjective. It was inoffensive and bland and perfectly captured the atmosphere of... niceness.

He looked around. On a small hill there was a pale pony with brown hair floating slightly in the wind. It had a picture of a police box on its side. It somehow exuded an aura of tweediness. Apparently someone had turned the Doctor into a My Little Pony. Well, that was a first. 

Rory headed over to the hill, which is how he became aware that he too was a pony. He was walking with four legs and – he gave an experimental swish – yes, he had a tail. 

“Don't panic,” said the Doctor when Rory reached him. “This is just dream.”

“Why are you in my dream?”

“How do you know it's yours?” asked the Doctor with a little sniff. “I have this dream a lot.”

“Right,” said Rory. “The Oncoming Storm... dreams about being a My Little Pony.”

“Don't say it like it's weird.”

“Sorry, but it is.”

Another pony trotted up to them. This one was white with orange hair. It had a duck picture on it. 

“Amy?”

“Oh, God, not this again,” said Amy. 

“You've had this dream before?” asked Rory, now even more puzzled.

“Yeah, I thought it was just me eating weird alien food, but now I know the horrible truth.” She glared at the Doctor as best she could with her benevolent anime eyes. “I'm not happy about this.”

The Doctor ducked his head slightly. “Sorry. I thought the truth would make you think less of me. Anyway,” he continued, "I should explain now that we're all here.”

Amy and Rory looked at him expectantly. 

“After the last pollen incident I set up a defence system in the TARDIS to make sure any shared dreams were benign in nature. You don't get much more benign than Ponyland. No swearing, no lying, not even bodily functions. So we can safely sit this all out here in these lovely surroundings.” He smiled at them, which was quite impressive when a smile was the default pony expression anyway.

Rory nudged Amy with his nose. “Does this seem weird to you? I mean weirder than normal?”

Amy nodded. “Yeah. But what do you expect from him?”

“Oi!” said the Doctor. “At least Rory's here this time to keep you company.”

Rory looked from one horse to the other. “Did you two come here alone? Without me?”

Amy nuzzled at his pony hair. “Don't worry, we're not anatomically-correct.”

“Doctor, do you dream about Amy?”

“Of course I dream about her, we live together. Sometimes I even dream about you.”

“Oh. They're not... sexual dreams, are they?”

Amy hit him with her tail. “Don't ask if you don't want to know, there are no lies in Ponyland.”

The Doctor nodded. “She's a clever girl. That's why I like her.”

Rory looked down at his hooves. “I suppose I don't really mind. It's not like you can decide what to dream about.”

Amy sniffed. “I know it's not my dream or you'd kiss now.”

Rory looked up at her. “What?”

She would have shrugged but she was a pony. “I think we should be open about our desires, even if those desires are about two hot men having sex with each other.”

The revelations were interrupted by a sort of neighing laugh. It sounded more or less like “Mwahahahaneighhhhaha!”

The Doctor looked round quickly. “Oh no!” he cried.

Rory followed his gaze. Galloping towards them was yet another pony, this one entirely black with suspiciously bleached-looking hair. It didn't have anything on its side, or rather it did but in the same shade of black so it wasn't actually visible.

“Doctor?” asked Rory, who didn't think this was going to end well. “Who's this?”

The new pony skidded to a halt in front of them. “Finally I have you in my power, Doctor!”

The Doctor was forced into the truth by the power of pony. “This is my ex-boyfriend, the Master.”

Amy and Rory looked at each other. Finally Amy said “You call him the Master? Is there something we should know?”

“It's not a sexual name,” said the Master irritably. “Honestly, I never used to get this. Humans have such filthy minds these days.”

“He's not a nice person,” said the Doctor. “We're sort of arch-enemies.”

“Okay,” said Amy, “that's not in any way weird.”

The Master turned round a few times trying to get a good look at himself. “This isn't the scenario I had planned. What have you done, Doctor?”

The Doctor explained again but with more technobabble this time. 

“That's not fair!” whined the Master. “You're supposed to dream up horrible nightmares and die of fear!”

The Doctor trotted over to the Master and nuzzled his ear. “You don't really want me to die. Go on, you can admit it here.”

“Well, I suppose I don't,” he admitted. “But I did want to kill the humans. I don't like sharing you with apes.”

Amy's pony apparently had in-built slash-goggles. She sighed. “This is so romantic.”

Rory didn't think so. “This man's dating our daughter. What if he turns her evil?” He thought for a moment then added “Again. What if he turns her evil again?”

“I won't,” the Doctor protested, “I don't usually have this problem. The Master's just a bit strange. Trying to kill me is his way of showing affection.”

“I see,” said Rory, who didn't quite. 

“So, as you can see,” the Doctor continued to the Master, “we're safe and you've been defeated by the power of positive thinking. Again.”

“I hate you,” said the Master. He poked the ground with a hoof. “Can I at least kill one of them? Just one. You can't possibly need both of them.”

“No,” said the Doctor. “You can't even kill Rory.”

“Thanks,” said Rory. He was a bit tired of dying. It left him with a terrible headache.

“Hmph,” said the Master. “In that case I'm going to run off and leave you all alone with these people who will never fulfil your need for another of your own kind. So there.” With that he galloped away into the distance and vanished over a hill. 

The Doctor sniffed sadly. “He knows me too well.”

Amy nudged his nose with hers. “Would it make you feel better if we all had sex with each other when we wake up?”

“A bit,” said the Doctor rather sadly. 

“Um,” said Rory, “I'm not gay.”

“Aliens don't count,” said Amy. 

“Oh.”

“I think,” said the Doctor, “that we should just enjoy Ponyland while it lasts. I may be deeply miserable, but it's hard to stay sad in a place like this.”

Indeed it was. And so the Doctor cheered up, Rory didn't have to be gay, and Amy didn't get the threesome she so desperately wanted. And the Master would inevitably return in a later adventure. So, all in all, it was a happy ending. 

 

THE END.


End file.
